Cartoons to Watch When Your Kids Aren’t Around

I am a big lover of everything animated. I learned at least two foreign languages by watching Cartoon Network as a kid, and kids’ channels are still my choice when I get my hands on a TV remote. I love going to the cinema to watch stuff like Kung Fu Panda with three-year-olds, but at the same time I am an adult with needs. Like the need for sarcasm, or the need for inappropriate jokes, or the need for political satire, you know, those kinds of needs. Fortunately enough, there are tons of people like me in the world, and there are artists and producers awesome enough to make animated series just for freaks like us.

Apart from the obvious (’cause we’ve been watching The Simpsons, Southpark etc. for years, obviously), here is a list of my favorite M to X-rated animated shows.

7. Unsupervised [FX]

A story of two teenagers desperate for adventure and awesomeness, living without parents and having the time of their lives while trying to figure out all sorts of teenage stuff, such as seduction techniques or choice of role models.

6. Daria [MTV]

It’s hard to tell why I think Daria was better than Beavis & Butthead. There is something about an intellectual-to-be teenage girl with a monotonous voice and suicide-related humour that just moves me more than two old ugly guys. Not to mention that, being an MTV show, Daria features some of the best and worst tracks of its time.

5. Ugly Americans [Comedy Central]

New York doesn’t belong to humans only anymore – they have to share their streets, jobs and lives with zombies, tree-people, demons, witches and any crazy fantasy you’ve ever had about a partly human being. We’re following the life of Mark, a social worker whose job it is to keep everybody friendly and integrated. The series, with all its changes in staff and producers, is still a wonderful satire on everything politically correct and tolerant.

4. Superjail! [Adult Swim]

If you liked Ugly Americans, you’re gonna love Superjail!, because they’re both basically made by the same people. If I had kids, I would never show this to them, ’cause they smash peoples’ heads and run around naked and give you the perfect idea of what you’re supposed to see when on hallucinogenic drugs. It’s a cruel, colorful and bizarrely funny world.

3. Archer [FOX]

The animated Bible of sexual harassment, borderline racism and lame spy humor. Plus you gotta love H. Jon Benjamin (voice of Archer) because he just makes everything sound hysterical, annoying and funny as hell.

2. Squidbillies [Adult Swim]

Yup, hillbillies who are squids, living every hillbilly stereotype you can imagine. I truly believe good people can’t watch this stuff, so I’m proud to admit I’m not one of them.

1. Drawn Together

‘Tis the epitome of all animation I would hide from my kids or any other people I don’t fully trust. Drawn Together is number one on this list for a reason – it has mature and sexual content, strong language, guts flying around and some hardcore homophobe/sexist/racist/everything-ist jokes than can actually make you blush in front of your screen, not to mention the giant animated genitalia and other pretty graphic stuff. Apart from that, it’s a hilarious parody reality show with parody cartoon characters living in it, creating drama and being bastards all the way. Not unlike ourselves.

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3 Responses to Cartoons to Watch When Your Kids Aren’t Around

  1. harry lime says:

    …there’s really a network called Adult Swim (interesting combination of words)?????

  2. guste says:

    yep! it’s a tricky quality standard, because some of adultswim shows are hilarious and some are just plain amateur-looking crap, so you can’t really trust them swimmers.

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